Author Topic: Lets share  (Read 6740 times)

Pervarotti

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Lets share
« on: April 08, 2016, 09:47:25 am »
Tell us all a few things we did not know about you.

A few things none of you know about me:

- I can only poop when I get to work, its very annoying because I hate getting up after I have started working.  On the weekends poop at home though.
- My bra size is now 32DDD, very unusual size.   Just got re-measured last week.  See pic.   They don't make push up bras in my size.
- Every Sunday morning I have a rare filet mignon by itself
- I hate light colored clothes, I don't own anything that is white excepts towels
- I only own 2 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of jeans and about 6 shirts, and I wear the same outfits all the time, sometimes 2 or 3 times a week.  Nobody ever notices.
- I hate dogs, babies, little kids and celery.  I'm that person. 


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Gooey

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2016, 10:06:24 am »
You don't own any white or gray t-shirts?

Pervarotti

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2016, 10:23:14 am »
I have a grey T shirt that says NO HUMMERS and has a picture of a hummer with a red line striking it out.   Wade banned me from wearing it.

I have one white tank top but I never wear it.  No white shirts.

Pervarotti

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2016, 10:23:57 am »
Tell me something about yourself, Gooey.   You are very secretive about your personal life.

Silver Mercenary

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2016, 10:53:25 am »
Fast Facts about Gooey:

1) He was born in a virtual vagina
2) He was once kicked in the groin and lost his virginity
3) He once put his face through the hole of one of those picture boards, and a trucker mistook it for a glory hole
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

JJFrench

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2016, 02:38:14 pm »
1. I am now an orphan.
2. I hate or dismiss the majority of people,  but I am still well liked. Guess I'm good at feigning interest.
3. I love dogs, and in fact have 3. Fuck Pervarotweiler.
4. I am finally putting my weight back on. I went from 5'11 , 182 svelte bastardlike lbs to 152 lbs due to eating 1 meal every 2 days. I took no joy in food whatsoever for almost 2 years. I couldn't taste anything and eating just felt like a chore. I'm improving everyday. I'm back to 170 lbs, eating 3 meals a day, and I'm enjoying food again.
5. I am 47 years old and occasionally fuck the shit out of a 23 year old. She is balls hot and would move in if I let her. She also loves to eat pussy. No $ involved at all. I think she has severe daddy issues.  Don't care.
6. I had a loaded 9 mm pressed against my forehead and I told the guy I was going to enjoy fucking his daughter cause he didn't have the balls to pull the trigger. I won't fuck his daughter, but he obviously didn't lay the 10 lbs of pressure required. At the time, I wished he had. I had a bruise on my forehead for a couple of weeks after. I said I walked into a lamp post.
7. My cat's name is Mittens. She is all black,  with ebony paws, hence the name Mittens!
8. Living feels good again.
9. Fuck you.

JJFrench

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2016, 02:44:22 pm »
   Wade banned me from wearing it.

Lolwut? Wade? That's not a fucking name, it's an activity that phaggots do when afraid of the water. Shove the shirt up his ass and toss him to the curb. I'm sure Sliver would be happy to pick him up and recycle him into his Laotian boywhores. You're fucking cuckolded chickiepoo.

JJFrench

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2016, 02:57:29 pm »
Tell us all a few things we did not know about you.

A few things none of you know about me:
- My bra size is now 32DDD, very unusual size.   Just got re-measured last week.  See pic.   They don't make push up bras in my size.

- I only own 2 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of jeans and about 6 shirts, and I wear the same outfits all the time, sometimes 2 or 3 times a week.  Nobody ever notices.

Tits or Gtfo. Pics of said tits, or gtfo.
People notice. They just look down their nose at you behind your back.

True Story from yesterday: I have 4 suits plus countless pants and shirts (64 ties and counting) so I mix and match like there's no tomorrow.  People aske me if I'm wearing a new get up all the time. I actually wondered yesterday (out loud to a couple of employees) if I had worn this ensemble last week (black suit, pistacio mint green shirt, matching tie)...I have a bad memory cause Idrink all night...they both actually broke down my wardrobe on a day to day basis over the last 2 weeks...monday was your dark pants, purple shirt, purple checkered tie, no jacket. Tuesday was navy suit, royal blue shirt, red tie with royal blue stripes....they even recalled my shoes...on and on...Now I dress very well compared to my managerial peers, but I was taken aback at the fact that they fucking recalled my outfits for 2 damn weeks.

Gooey

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2016, 04:01:39 pm »
Quote
Tell me something about yourself, Gooey. You are very secretive about your personal life.

I don't think I am secretive, there is just nothing interesting to talk about.

Gooey

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2016, 04:20:46 pm »
Ok, let's try this...

1. Like JJ, I own more clothes than I care to admit. I have close to 15 suits, over 50 ties, and own shirts, pants, socks, boxers, and shoes that I have yet to wear once. (I will wear them eventually).
2. I work for a government contractor that is located in Northern, VA, but work from home in southwestern, PA. So I literally wake up and work whenever I want, usually in my pjs.
3. I too, want to find a hot 23 year old with daddy issues, but since my oldest nephews are turning 21 and 22, that's kinda creepy.
4. I'm thinking about buying or building a new home, or maybe just flipping older real estate in my area.
5. I'm not going to my 20th high school reunion, because I don't think I have anything in common with those people anymore.
6. The only person/people I met off of Jeff's is Ogre and Sinister, and will see them again when I am in Vegas this July.
7. I like dogs, but never had a pet.
8. When I was younger, I spent most of my time playing sports, especially baseball. So much so, that I never learned how to swim or ride a bike. Ironically enough, I no longer care for baseball, and need to lose about 10-15lbs., which swimming or bike riding would help with.
9. I have 3 older sisters, 2 are married. I have 3 nephews, one is graduating from college, one is a U.S. Marine, and the youngest is 14.
10. I have a crazy big extended family. My mother was the 10th born of 10, and my father was the 11th born out of 11. Everyone on my dad's side are gone, including my dad. I have an aunt and uncle, along with my mom left on my mom's side. Needless to say I have a lot of cousins.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2016, 04:23:22 pm by Gooey »

JJFrench

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2016, 05:29:36 pm »
Gooey, your nephews are 21 or so? My daughter is 26!!! I feel no shame. It's the way she goes boys, it's the way she goes.

Silver Mercenary

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2016, 07:16:08 pm »
anyone man who owns more than 10 ties, can eat a polish sausage, without taking a single bite
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

SpaceMonkey

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2016, 07:40:36 pm »
Ha!

My life has been an open book here on Jeff's for the past 16 years, so there isn't much left to say, but I'll try. I'll start like Perv did, with pooping habits...

1. I poop in the morning before I shower, so I'm clean all day. Usually don't have to go again all day, but I have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and sometimes my bowel is downright angry with me; especially after eating Thai food.

2. I eat a lot of garbage food and don't give a rip about my diet, hence number 1's info on number 2s.

3. I had a morning paper route from the time I was 11 until I was 17. I got up at 4:30 a.m. every morning all those years to deliver the Detroit Free Press before school. It made me the hard worker I'm today (when I'm sober). I also removed asbestos in college to pay my way for a semester. I have no college debt, as I had several jobs throughout college.

4. I come from a poor family out of Warren, MI three miles from where Eminem grew up. He lived at 9 Mile and Van Dyke in Warren and I lived at 12 Mile and Van Dyke (just to give you an idea of the neighborhood I came from). 8 Mile is the dividing road between Detroit City and Warren. My dad was making $23,000 when he retired. He worked as a quality control inspector at a spring company that made springs for the auto industry. My mom didn't work but stayed home with us kids and drank.

5. All the stories I've told at Jeff's are true. I never felt any reason to lie. I have no pride. I don't give a fuck. If I embellish any part of a story, it's only to make the story a little more funny. But sometimes I think y'all think I'm just making shit up.

6. I've been seriously suicidal (over the past 4 years in particular) due to depression and alcoholism. I'm good now, but I've seen the darkness where people who have gone through with it go. It's a very fucking scary place. Thinking about my boys and how they won't get my half million life insurance policy if I off myself kept me from doing it. I won't own a gun because of my suicidal tendencies (good name for a punk band). When I get suicidal, I call SilverMercury on the phone. He has been a great friend and has helped me, and talked me off the ledge a few times. We end up laughing our asses off.

7. I honestly and sincerely don't care if I were to die. I don't give a shit. I'm not afraid whatsoever and am ready to go whenever. Life is a gasser, and I love to laugh and fuck, but that shit only goes so far. The rest is quite boring.

8. Yes, I may be psychotic, but I don't think so. I do take antidepressants for high anxiety (a great name for a funny film), and they help, but I think it's really just my stoic personality, my viewpoint on life that makes me think differently.

9. I have an older brother who's 50 named Brad. I'm 49. I have a younger sister who is 47 named Toby. Some jackalope came to the baby shower with a card that said "For the Baby To Be." My mom read the scrawl writing as: For the baby Tobe, so the name stuck. My older brother is funnier than me, but he's reserved and has anxiety issues himself. He's very successful in his career as a marketing manager at Genital Motors and has three daughters. He tries to maintain himself and worries about things a lot. But when he lets loose, I cannot go par to par with him on ripping insults. He'll just look at me and say, "Taste my crack." Or, "That was a good one, man lover." Or some other shit. My dad is 90 and can't remember what food the server just brought him at a restaurant, but still cracks wise. When I was leaving my trip a couple weeks ago from Michigan, he asked if I wanted breakfast. I said no, I'll eat on the road. He said, "You don't have to eat road kill, have a bowl of Frosted Flakes."

10. I lost my virginity at age 21. I was too shy and introverted in high school; especially around the girlies. But now that I'm older, I keep hearing stories from girls in my class that they wanted to go out with me. I wish they would have been a little more aggressive and let me know it then. Nay, I wish I'd been more aggressive. But I'm single now. I'm gonna find myself a 23 year old and make up for lost time.


JJFrench

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2016, 09:03:42 pm »
5, 6, 7, 8.

Silver Mercenary

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Re: Lets share
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2016, 09:10:25 pm »
WTF!!!

I made my list..spent like 30 mins on it reflecting on a painful past..most of it was funny ..posted it..and it didnt post

This is all u BlackLivesMatter fucktards trying to suppress the CameltoedMan

Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?