Author Topic: Toilet Epiphany  (Read 719 times)

Silver Mercenary

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1818
  • Karma: -65501
Toilet Epiphany
« on: June 19, 2018, 06:48:54 pm »
Today I woke up pretty early and followed my usual routine of half awake and feeling my way towards the toilet with one eye still shut, and ponder the meaning of life.

Ive got a theory, that the 1st 5 minutes u are awake, you are at your emotionally and introspective sharpest. Try it..instead of thinking about what you ate and how a brown log that large can physically exit your asshole..think about your life the 1st five minutes.

Anyhoo, I realized..I cannot name 2..3. or even 5 events..from every year of my life past 21..can anyone?

I remember traumatic events, special events, memorable events..but honestly cannot think of at least 5 memories for every year of my life.

Next time you're on the shitter..do this test..see what you come up with. The results will be both sad and surprising
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

Gooey

  • MaximPad
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 383
  • Karma: 11
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2018, 08:16:44 pm »
I canít remember where I parked my car most of the time...

MUFDVR

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 627
  • Karma: -100
  • Whoremongerer
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2018, 04:12:37 am »
I can remember women from certain years, some professional events and some sports that happened.  But that's it. 

I know in 99, I was banging this kinda hot chick named Emily who had big round hooters and short blond hair.  I knew it was 99 because it was last year of Masters.  Stuff like that. 

But no, I can't do 5 for every year.  Car, like gooey said.
I mongered Dillver's mom.

Silver Mercenary

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1818
  • Karma: -65501
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2018, 07:39:11 pm »
Ya'll fools dont remember shit like graduation, your first car, a bad date, a big crush, a car accident, job change, etc?

I thought I had lost my mind..my 30's is a complete blur, but I feel better knowing u guys cant remember shit either
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

seaniepmcgee

  • MaximPad
  • Full Member
  • *
  • Posts: 212
  • Karma: 6
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2018, 08:54:27 pm »
I remembered to pour myself a whiskey

Pervarotti

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 960
  • Karma: 14
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2018, 11:16:23 pm »
I canít really. 

If I look in journals and at pictures I can.

It all blends.


We call it CRS.   canít remember shit.  Also see: CHS canít hear shit.

SpaceMonkey

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1362
  • Karma: 3
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2018, 12:06:10 pm »
It's sick and sad, but I remember 88% of everything that has happened to me since I was 3 years old. I remember it all. That is why I drink so much. I want it all to go away.

It comes in waves. Like, a smell of bread will remind me of when I was 6 and eating in the cafeteria at my grade school, yet I can completely picture that cafeteria and how I felt at that moment. I was a kid. I felt alone and scared. These girls teased me (I realize now that they were flirting. They made me uncomfortable.). I don't want to think about that anymore.

Sadly, my son Simon (9) seems to be the same way. He has told me stories about things that happened to him when he was two years old. Happy stuff. Sad stuff. And I know he is right because I was there. 

These days, I tend to lie on my couch at night and stare at the ceiling for hours, contemplating the best way to kill myself. That obsession has been going on for 6 months now. I don't think I will do it, but it is about time already.

I finally figured it out! Too! How to do it!

I do not want to leave a mess behind. That is number one. Number two: I want it to work and be efficient, no mistakes. I don't like guns, but that is the best way as my research shows. I'd drive to the ocean, 3 hours away, and walk out in the surf and blow my fucking head off in the ocean. Let the crabs have a piece of my mind.

Of course, my friends, I'm just saying this is how I'd handle it IF I WERE suicidal. I'm not. Why not? I love my son, Simon, so much. He and I are two souls together. I could never leave him. He is my best friend and he needs me.

Gooey

  • MaximPad
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 383
  • Karma: 11
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2018, 01:11:16 pm »
Quote
I want it to work and be efficient, no mistakes. I don't like guns, but that is the best way as my research shows.

A gun doesnít always mean success either. Fight Club must be part of the 12% you forgot about. People shoot themselves and survive. Iíd think the best way would be a ton of sleeping pills and a full bath, or just the pills and tell people youíre leaving town. No one would check on you until it was way too late.

Silver Mercenary

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1818
  • Karma: -65501
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2018, 11:37:44 am »
no way dude..if the sleeping pills dont work you will be in so much pain and agony. why do people complicate this shit? just drive into your garage, lock the doors and engine running..dead in a few hrs while u drift into sleep.

but the wait can be pretty boring..but being bored is the least of your worries

I assume jumping off a bridge/building can be pretty terrifying too
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

Gooey

  • MaximPad
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 383
  • Karma: 11
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2018, 05:31:01 pm »
What if you donít have a garage?

Silver Mercenary

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1818
  • Karma: -65501
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2018, 06:25:07 pm »
lots of ways to introduce carbon monoxide into the home..people die of it all the time. thats how I would do it. quiet, easy, painless, no mess

The old slit your wrists in a bathtub cliche is also stupid..more failed attempts than any method
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

Gooey

  • MaximPad
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 383
  • Karma: 11
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2018, 06:37:11 pm »
What if you took like 30 Ambiens and a bunch of benzodiazepines at once? Would you not fall asleep and overdose?

Silver Mercenary

  • MaximPad
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1818
  • Karma: -65501
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2018, 07:21:48 pm »
lol thats alot of $ for a suicide..its risky, lots of people survived OD suicide attempts (especially if found and stomach pumped). but 90% success rate

most of these celeb deaths related to some opioid, benzo, alcohol mix..but who knows how many times this happened in history before fatal overdose?
Meat IS Murder. How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?

Gooey

  • MaximPad
  • Sr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 383
  • Karma: 11
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2018, 10:31:02 pm »
Well if youíre invested in killing yourself, why not spend the money? I mean you literally canít take it with you! Thatís why I said tell friends, family, neighbors that youíre going out of town, then take the pills, fall asleep, dead.



On a side note, this thread really went fucking dark....

Ogre

  • The Big Cheese
  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 256
  • Karma: 8982
Re: Toilet Epiphany
« Reply #14 on: July 13, 2018, 02:50:48 pm »
If you're looking for an easy, safe, painless, clean, and easy way to die; Helium is the way to go.


What you do is connect a hose to a helium tank, run the hose to a bag that is loosely secured over your head, then just breathe.


You might think suffocation would be difficult and painful, but the gasping panic instinct that you're imagining is related to CO2 accumulation. Asphixiation with an inert gas like helium, nitrogen, or argon will just make you sleep, and fast, without the Hypercapnia. You see, you're not inhaling oxygen, so there's no oxygen to bind with carbon to create CO2, and thus no CO2 poisoning.

With Helium, you'll be unconscious in seconds, dead in minutes. Adding to that, it's super easy to get.


All of that said, suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it on. You'll be passing it to your children, so try to remember this.